Brooms at the Ready, Down Goes Minnesota!
Here we are ladies and gents. Middle of May and I’m still fired up. The first place Cleveland Guardians have absolutely embarrassed the Minnesota Twins. Cylouie and all his minions have been 110% silenced. It has been a blast to watch and if you haven’t been watching, lemme give you the run down.
Game 1 was a nail biter I wont lie. Sticks gave up just 2 hits in 6.2 innings pitched. The Guards bullpen (shocking, Scott Barlow) gave up the tying run in the top of the 8th. The city connect jerseys making their debut, at the risk of being soiled forever by a loss to the twins. I sat in my living room as Jose Ramirez came up to the plate. I’m not shitting you, I thought to myself, “How poetic would it be if he went yard right now.” Cylouie’s 2022 tweet echoing in the deep, dark, depths of my brain.
Our lord and savior, Jose Fucking Ramirez, hits an inside breaking ball with the absolute barrel of his bat. As the ball travels toward the right field wall, he turns to his teammates in the dugout, pounds his chest, and says “This is my house.” The ball lands about 5 rows up in the stands and the first sold out May crowd chants “Jose, Jose, Jose, Jose” and it echoes throughout Downtown Cleveland. And just like that, the City Connect Uniforms we have waited so long for have their own signature moment.
Game 2 was proof of what we all hoped. The Minnesota Twins are boys amongst Men in the Best in the Majors, American League Central. Tyler Freeman, Andres Gimenez, and Jose Fucking Ramirez combine for 8 RBIs. Logan Allen, Nick Sandlin, and Sam Hentges shoves it up the Twins’ ass for 8 innings. Josh Naylor, Will Brennan, and Beautiful Human, Kyle Manzardo tack on some more and the Guards win DECIDEDLY, 11-4.
Many teams would take a day off, give a gentleman’s win, and move on to the next series. Not the Guardiac Kids. They proceed to blow a lead in Bad News Bears fashion where, point blank period, they didn’t deserve to win. Then suddenly they realize Carlos Correa is on the other team and Chill Will comes through with an ICONIC walk off blast, yet again, in the City Connects.
If you aren’t having fun, what the FUCK are you doing? The boys are hot and the Twins are not. What more can you ask for? Go Guardians. Fuck the Twins.
